How our girlfriends help us get real and be real
Soul Sisters. Girlfriends you can get deep with. The ones you can call at any hour and share your weirdest thoughts, most profound insights, and darkest fears. Your soul sisters aren’t afraid to tell you when you are being lame, running a negative thought loop, or making the wrong choice. They are also not afraid to tell you you’re beautiful, and powerful and that everything is going to be okay. These special ladies in your life have the very important role of keeping their eye on what really matters, especially when you lose sight for yourself. Soul sisters tend the needs of our soul. And they do it differently and unlike our husbands, life partners, and family. They magically just know the right thing to say and how to listen.
This sacred space our friends hold for us is invaluable and needs to be honored and respected. Lordy, I know my soul sisters have saved me thousands of dollars of therapy, yet they also told me when I needed to be in therapy, when they couldn’t hold that space for me and told me to go get professional help. Word to the boundaries of friendship.
Maybe you’re in the position of being leaned on a bit too much by a dear friend? This is tricky territory. Be honest and clear with her, you can unconditionally love and create healthy energetic and emotional boundaries with your closest friends. Try this energetically (which means in your imagination- which is where all the realness of life starts): Let go of guilt, communicate your deep care and love for her, use your guidance to empower her, releasing any responsibility you’ve taken on for her, and giver her that power back. Done. Repeat as necessary.
In her book, Soul Sisters: The Five Sacred Qualities of a Woman’s Soul, Pythia Peay explains, “Soul sisters are those who are loyal to the innermost essence, the deepest heart’s desire, of their friends. By maintaining a fidelity and trust to the better part of their friend’s nature, they help nurture it into existence.” Soul sisters’ got your spiritual back. Peay clarifies, “We all need a soul sister–someone who, metaphorically speaking, can sit beside us at the spinning wheels of our lives–talking, laughing, crying, feeling–weaving, in the process, commonsense wisdom out of who we are and why we are here. This process between soul friends is what feminist thinker Christine Downing calls “the mutuality of soulmaking,” the “reciprocal and equal love for one another’s psychic development.” Jungian analyst and professor of anthropology, Jan Clanton Collins says, “Friends are steadfast companions on the spiritual pilgrimage. They are a grace that makes the journey worthwhile. Just to know that they are in the world and that we are not alone gives us courage to go on.” How have your friendships helped you to birth yourself?
Any kind of women’s circle, mastermind, book club, or even a w(h)ine night, is such a precious resource in the busy life of a woman. For 3 years now, 4 other women and I have been meeting monthly. We started with a business mastermind format, as we all had our own businesses. The meetings however, quickly transformed into a unique soul-check in time. It was teary, focused, silly and serious. We each had 7 minutes to spew what’s up for us, and yes, we set a timer, then we’d each offer our insights, downloads, life wisdom, to that sister. Invaluable help. Our spirits and businesses have both been transformed in the process. Currently 2 of the 5 women moved across the country, they now skype in, and we’re planning an annual retreat. Do you have a regularly scheduled meet-up with soul sisters? If not, do you give yourself time to check-in with your favorite friend? Phone call? Skype? Power walk? Happy Hour?
Checking in with friends can be easier than checking in with yourself. Sometimes you’d just rather talk about what’s up instead of getting out your yoga mat, meditation cushion, or journaling (which I like to do with my friend, Peanutbutter-on-a-spoon). As long as your friend also checks in with you, you kind of automatically have to check in with yourself, and you get to be in delightful company! It’s a soul sister win-win.
Sisters and the Moon
The moon is one of the most ancient forces that pull us to our soul sisters. Each new and full moon offers us a chance to shed and renew ourselves and our friendships. Our hormones wax and wane, our emotions peak… the new moon is when I ovulate and cry at everything, especially posts of really good kid-singers on Facebook. That’s when I know it’s time to seek safe refuge in girlfriends. We can cry together which is satisfying in that vulnerable Brene Brown kinda way. Soul sisters can help us get to the root of what we really need to cry about. This new awareness accompanied with emotional processing, moves stagnant energy in the body. Which means you will feel 8 pounds lighter after an honest cry with your soul sister.
This need for sacred girl time each month is why my friend, Emily Trinkaus, and I created a Virtual Galactic Temple with our Full Moon Calls. We invite conscious sisters to join each other in this shared sacred space energetically created by our collective minds and collective energy (which is not limited to time or space, which means that women in all different time zones and women listening in to the recording of the call two days later get the same access to the energetic juiciness). Emily gifts all of the women in her life, and on these calls with her wisdom of astrology. She clearly explains the best way to utilize the energies available to us each month at the full moon to be our best selves, and move forward in our lives. Sometimes this involves napping as the best strategy, which why I secretly love Emily and Astrology. Emily will make the universe your best girlfriend, then give you The Cosmic Permission Slip to go do what’s REALLY good for you, and to go after what you REALLY WANT. Sometimes that’s a nap. On the calls, I also lead an energetically charged healing/clearing/visualization that personally holds each of the women participating. Here is a 2 minute recorded snippet from the beginning of a call you can listen to now to learn more and see if you and your soul sisters would like to join forces with this global tribe of “Galactivating” women.
Before this day is over, can you take a moment to honor your soul sisters? Call, text, or try an ol’ fashioned live-in-person knock on her door with chocolate in hand. (Shout out to DB & MGW for making that a reality.) This will surely keep the fire stoked and burning bright for her spirit and yours too. Expressing gratitude and love is the juice of life, it’s what makes us feel alive. Receiving it is just as important. Let me give you permission to do that right now..You ROCK, SISTER reading this post, keep being awesome you. Now go take a nap and call your friends.